I have been working with a client that was very outspoken, and talked without stopping. Learning to listen is a very important part of great communication. Understanding what is said is key.
I developed my listening skills, to help the client feel valued. Helping people feel valued, is what will help them “calm” inside, so they are not listening to their own voices, but others.(like me)
Teaching them that others have the same feelings as they do, when they are hurt or upset (and attack) others, will help them learn that they can present their opinions in a gift package, so the message will be received without malice.
So people that are direct, do have feelings, and when they attack, it is because they are “hurt” somehow. When we say sensitive words, that help them stay calm, they will not attack, and things will be able to be resolved much easier.
If you are hurt, remember that you can alter what you heard, to formulate it so that you “hear” the kindness that you think should have been said.
Learning how to be responsible to other people, will save relationships and feelings.